Words from my Soul

I'm not sure how life has passed by so quickly but I know that my love for you has grown immensely since the day I knew you were growing inside of me. It's been almost 20 years that I've had the pleasure of being your mother. I've watched you learn to walk, heard you speak your first words, enjoyed the many chapters of watching you grow into this amazing young woman.  I've been blessed with one of the most beautiful souls that has been created for this thing we call life. To say you didn't have hard times would be a lie. You endured pain and loss in your young life that most will never understand. The strength that you hold within yourself is nothing short of amazing. You have pulled through some of the hardest times. You have pulled me out of moments I never thought I would overcome.  You have always been more than my child, you have been my entire life, my strength and my reason to keep going even when I didn't have the will to. You have watched me break

Every single year, the same day passes and I relive the events all over again. Time doesn't change feelings or emotions. They say it gets better but it hasn't yet. It seems like an eternity since I have seen your face. Heard you laugh. Felt your arms hug me tighter than anyone in this world can. Every moment,  every second,  every year that passes it seems to hit me a little harder.  Missing the daily phone calls. Calling right back just to say you love me one more time.  Pulling up to your house while you're sitting in the garage drinking your adult beverage or working in your yard which you always took pride in. Cooking on the grill and cutting me off a piece of your masterpiece for me to try while you make that "Tim the tool man Taylor noise" of satisfaction. Singing those songs, some to me and some just to make me laugh. Calling you from the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert when they were playing "Free Bird" while we both cried as you kept telling me not to

As a Survivor of childhood abuse I would like to share a little power to all of you. Before I start I want to say that the most important thing to remember is to stop being afraid to talk about it. It is time to uncover the rug and discuss the things that are so close to home. Stop covering your daughters ears. Let them know what is out there and what can happen to them. Make them aware, let them be scared. The more honest we are, the more we teach them then the more they become stronger to face the truth if it is ever presented to them. Let them know that there is a way out, there is always someone to tell and there is someone out there that will listen and do what ever they need to do to help them. It has been hidden and censored for too long. Human trafficking is happening right here in the town you live in. There are safe houses for those that have been rescued, there are numbers to call if you are or know a victim. It is not something that is happening on TV. It is here, it

There are probably going to be many opinions about this post but this one is mine.  Through your life you make memories,  alone,  with family and people that were once a big part of your life. All of these memories make you who you are today through the good the bad and the ugly.  Some memories cause you to smile with happiness that was felt in that moment,  some cause you tears from the pain and emotion that still feels so real, others make you cringe wishing you could erase the entire chapter.  When things come up that make you remember something or someone it's hard to make heads or tails of why it's important enough for conversation.  There are specifics that are controversial for many people. An ex.  A lover that once was. Someone  who at one point was a thought that was going to be forever.  When you move on to another relationship you know that the past will always be in your thoughts.  But at what point should the past stay in the past? That's the question run

I've witnessed a mother,  friends, a son,  ex wife,  ex girlfriends and close family all go through the hell that he caused.  How many people have to turn their backs before the point is taken.  Friends come and go, to the point where you can't keep track. I always said I would be there no matter what but I guess even the most loyal of people can back out of a promise. I got pushed to that point. Over so many years I put all my faith in to him, no matter how wrong he may of been, I always believed he "could change". Years of so many lies, lies that even he began to think were true, ones that hurt people and sometimes were unnecessary. He could tell a story like it really happened and you were a part of it and most people were too shocked, or afraid to say it didn't . He stole from so many people, family and friends. From little things that didn't need to be stolen to things like trust.  Always know to never cross him, never call him out and most cer

           It's almost too easy in the beginning. Two hearts so completely in love who can never get enough of each other. You believe it will last forever. Promises to never let it change.  Text messages that made your body feel numb.  Phone calls that you could hear the smile on the other end. Times where you felt like you haven't heard from them for hours but you look at your phone and its really not even been sixty minutes. When they are right beside you but they are not close enough. You've been together all day but the hours seem so short and you need more time. When you can feel your hearts beating together as one. So intense you can't breathe. Feels too good to think that the fire will ever stop burning. Nights turned into mornings and the mornings lasted until the afternoon. Laughing, saying we couldn't stay in the bed all day but it felt so good you just didn't want it to end. But even on the best days. Moments where the connection was so surr