When the past should be left alone.

There are probably going to be many opinions about this post but this one is mine.  Through your life you make memories,  alone,  with family and people that were once a big part of your life. All of these memories make you who you are today through the good the bad and the ugly.  Some memories cause you to smile with happiness that was felt in that moment,  some cause you tears from the pain and emotion that still feels so real, others make you cringe wishing you could erase the entire chapter. 
When things come up that make you remember something or someone it's hard to make heads or tails of why it's important enough for conversation.  There are specifics that are controversial for many people. An ex.  A lover that once was. Someone  who at one point was a thought that was going to be forever.  When you move on to another relationship you know that the past will always be in your thoughts.  But at what point should the past stay in the past? That's the question running through my heart tonight. 
In one incident it is acceptable but there's still a line you should avoid crossing.  You're married to the love of your life and tragedy separates forever and reality.  You never wanted to be without that person but life had other plans.  You eventually move on and start another life with someone else.  Not something you ever imagined but even though life ended for your soulmate life still keeps moving for you.  To talk about what used to be is acceptable but obviously you know,  out of respect,  what to talk about and what should remain a memory locked in your brain. 
Then you have the situations where the other person left against your will.  Or the ones you left because over time you realized you didn't feel as you did in the beginning.  These are the conversations in question.  Being with someone for a few years,  learning,  trying out what you want and like does not give them a permanent place in your life.   You will always experience what it's like to be left.  The one that breaks your heart.  The one who showed you that they didn't feel what they claimed or what you still feel as your lying on the floor wishing life would be better over rather than feeling the hole in the pit of your stomach that you can't shake.  The one that disrespected you,  cheated on you multiple times or even just once,  the one who abused you and hurt you emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I believe these people don't deserve to be a conversation let alone a memory.  If the thoughts of these people create the pain and anger you felt at one time why would you want to keep reliving it.  Why would your family and friends want to bring that emotion up not only to you but for the one your creating a life with currently.  Where is the respect and courtesy at when those people come up in general talk.  I understand that there was a bond that was once shared and there are more people involved than just the two of you. But it's hard for me to believe that in a matter of a few years there is any correlation from then to now. If someone is curious about where the other person is currently then why couldn't it be questions asked when the current partner is not right there? Is that too much to ask? Is it hard for people to understand that it may make the current person feel a type of way they might not want to feel? Is it that important that it has to be a conversation at that moment?
Sometimes the ex lovers are still aquitainted with the friends an family that surround you. Sometimes the ex is still a friend to you.  I believe in many cases this only happens because one or the both of you really didn't want to let go.  There are still some type of feelings there.  For the current person you are with this may be a hard pill to swallow.  Some say that if you have a problem with it or feel any jealousy to this then you're insecure.  Maybe that's true but maybe it's just because it's disrespectful on a whole different level.  That's why I believe a past is a past for a reason.  If for any reason it was supposed to be a part of your life still then it wouldn't be the past. 
I've always been insecure.  I have always worn my heart on my sleeve.  There have been situations where I've been faced head to head with the ex that wasn't just left as a friend.  So it leaves a dirty taste in your mouth.  It makes it hard to believe that anyone after those situations aren't doing the same,  aren't feeling the same and who are not wondering if they made a bad decision.  No matter who you are, how strong you are or more importantly how secure you are there is always going to be a time that you wonder why are they still important enough to be in the now while they are claiming you are their new forever. 
Call me petty. Act like you don't agree but deep inside we have all been at the point of thinking "seriously" while rolling our eyes waiting for the conversation to change. Not thinking there is any threat to what you have but more of an aggravation of why is it so important to talk about. Although when this happens I have always found myself talking myself out of the negativity that consumes my heart. I tell myself it's no big deal and try to ignore the entire moment. But I can't help that split second feeling of wanting to stab someone in the asshole. Just so they can feel the same pain in the ass feeling I had to endure.
So next time you find yourself in that moment just envision a plastic dollar tree knife being jammed up the poop shoot of the one feeling the need to speak of the one you give two shits to hear about.  Then you will giggle and feel just a little better than you did seconds before.
You're welcome.