#Empowerment

As a Survivor of childhood abuse I would like to share a little power to all of you. Before I start I want to say that the most important thing to remember is to stop being afraid to talk about it. It is time to uncover the rug and discuss the things that are so close to home. Stop covering your daughters ears. Let them know what is out there and what can happen to them. Make them aware, let them be scared. The more honest we are, the more we teach them then the more they become stronger to face the truth if it is ever presented to them. Let them know that there is a way out, there is always someone to tell and there is someone out there that will listen and do what ever they need to do to help them. It has been hidden and censored for too long. Human trafficking is happening right here in the town you live in. There are safe houses for those that have been rescued, there are numbers to call if you are or know a victim. It is not something that is happening on TV. It is here, it is real and it is time to come together to stop it from happening. This whole subject has hit home for me for many reasons. Not only because of the personal experiences I have gone through but also because I have been in positions where I have seen first hand the affects childhood sexual abuse has done to many different girls in this town alone. I have held the hands of the victims, I have earned their trust and I have seen the fear behind their eyes that I will never forget. I believe that experiences make you sensitive to situations but this one is a little different. If we have not personally been through sexual abuse, emotional or physical abuse we have all met or loved someone who has been through one if not all of them. I always grew up saying I was not a victim yet I was a survivor. I refused to allow myself to believe that any of the people who harmed me in any way had the upper hand. I would not let them win. I would not let them defeat me and most of all no body, and I mean no body, will ever define me. I am who I am because that is who I choose to be.


Here is the sad truth, not everyone can be that strong willed. Not every female has been loved and given the strength through family, friends and faith. I was one of the lucky ones. I had this love that surrounded me and help build and mold me to help me believe that I was worth something in this life. Please believe me when I say this was a process. This did not happen overnight. I am still striving to be that person. I still wake up every day trying to be the best possible version of me I can be. That is all I can hope for all of you to do each and every single time you open your eyes. Today is a new day, a new choice, a blessing that has been given to you to try a little harder to make things even better than the day before. We have all went through body image issues, self-confidence insecurities and wondering if we are in fact “good enough”. There are two things I would like to discuss. The first thing is the word “empowerment”. What does this word mean to you? We need to understand what empowerment of women really means if we have to understand the impact. Empowerment is about being given the authority and power to do something. This can be as simple as being in charge or yourself, your life, your words and your actions. Empowerment can also be about becoming stronger and more confident. We can also define this word as meaning the knowledge and becoming aware of ones rights and privileges. You own the rights to your body, your mind and the way you think and feel. The last thing that empowerment means to me is the ability to control one’s life in a more meaningful and fulfilling way. This is one of the things I would like to try and instill in all of you today. Something that hopefully will not only help you but you can pass on to help the people you love. It is all about “language of caring”. This is how we speak to each other, respond to indifference and act as though everyone we come in contact with is “good enough”. When I was introduced to the process of language of caring in the first meeting with the company I work for I was instantly interested in becoming a part of something so amazing. I thought this is so awesome that a huge cooperation would want to teach their employees and medical staff how to speak to everyone in a more caring manner. You never know what someone is going through. There is an old saying that you should never judge a book by its cover. This is exactly what I would like everyone to think about when they come across someone or something that is negative. Try and look outside the box and wonder what they may have been through just hours before you came in contact with them. They may have lost a family member, maybe they were just told that they have a terminal disease, they could have been beaten by someone they trusted and whom was supposed to protect them. They may feel defeated. They may feel alone. And most importantly they may not feel “good enough” As a woman I would only wish that every single day we could wake up and look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we are beautiful, that we are strong, that we are worth it. And of course, that we are good enough. We all deserve to feel this way. We have to start with ourselves. It is a known fact that we cannot give anyone all the love we want them to have unless we love ourselves unconditionally first. As a part of language of caring there is a system called “heart head heart”. This will work with all different aspects of life. When you come in a situation that you feel the negativity and the frustration taking over your thinking and the way you respond it is the moment that we need to take a breath and respond with sensitivity, factual information and then end with a caring response. The positive will always out way the negative in this situation. There is always a positive with every negative but when there are two positives along with the information you are trying to relay then the outcome is going to be just the way it needs to be. If you come into a conversation that is getting heated you do not have to change the way you think about the topic you just have to change the way you respond. We all have bad days but we are in control of how the day ends. Everyone always refers to me as a ray of sunshine. It has been said that I always have a smile on my face, I am always laughing and I love everyone. Even if I don’t always feel this way I will do everything I can to make everyone believe that is exactly how I am feeling. Some call it faking, maybe it is, but it works. Being positive is contagious. If you pretend enough you actually may start to believe it yourself. I know we all heard the saying “fake it till you make it” – this is exactly what we have to do until we believe it, not only for ourselves but for everyone that is associated with us on a daily basis. If you walk into a room with your head down, never looking at anyone, not making eye contact even when being spoken to, it makes you look inferior. We should never let anyone believe that is the way we perceive ourselves. Little things like holding your head high, strong handshakes, a smile and eye contact will change the entire direction of every conversation. One of the reasons I love doing photography of people is because of the beauty that shines behind the photos. Have you ever noticed when you know you are getting your picture taken you become a different person. We get dressed up, we do our hair, make up is done and then that camera goes up to the photographer’s face and you know what to do. You smile. We feel beautiful when we smile. I capture these images and do a little magic to enhance the beauty that is already there and then I sit down with the client and go through the finished product and I watch them light up. They look at themselves differently for a moment. A light that they didn’t realize they had. They see the beauty that was hidden within the routine of everyday monotony. Waking up, getting ready, fighting to get out the door on time every single day, rushing to work to stress for the next eight to nine hours just to go home and make dinner, check the homework, clean up the house, say our good nights and crash on the bed just to wake up and do it all over again the next day. There seems to be no time for self-love. No time to be positive and definitely no time to relax and enjoy the moment. So when someone books an appointment with me I take that extra time to beautify a moment that they can remember forever. I never wanted to be a nurse. The day my father was diagnosed with cancer is the day I knew that I was going to be who I am today. When he had a bad experience at a hospital and he grabbed my hand and told me to remember this day for the rest of my life and always treat every patient as if they were him. That is when I knew I was going to be different. I refused to be just a girl behind a stethoscope wearing a pair of scrubs, taking your vitals and asking for a current list of your medications. If you would have asked me when I was a little girl what I was going to be when I grew up I would have said “famous”. Little did I know that I did not have to be a Kardashian or Taylor Swift to be considered a celebrity! People know who I am because I leave a mark on them. I smile at them; I make every single person feel like they are important. That is how I want all my patients to feel when I leave the room. I want to be remembered by how I made them feel if only for the 15 minutes every 6 months I see them. I want everyone to feel comfortable enough to talk to me, to tell me their ailments, to confide their fears and issues and knowing that when I look at them and I respond that it is always with love and care that I reciprocate. Because that is what I feel is most important. We don’t have to be a nurse or a photographer or even a television star, we just have to be a caring human being to everyone that we come in contact with. We have to show each person that they are worth the time in that moment that we are together. I believe the more we act out in this manner the more we will get it in return. We have to learn to stand up, stand tall, stand proud and love ourselves. But most importantly love each other. So in conclusion I would like you all to repeat after me. I am worth it. I am special. I am enough. And so are you. Please remember we are all fighting our own personal battles. We are all trying to make it through another day on this earth together. Let’s do it with love because that is all we need to survive.