Words from my Soul

           It's almost too easy in the beginning. Two hearts so completely in love who can never get enough of each other. You believe it will last forever. Promises to never let it change.  Text messages that made your body feel numb.  Phone calls that you could hear the smile on the other end. Times where you felt like you haven't heard from them for hours but you look at your phone and its really not even been sixty minutes. When they are right beside you but they are not close enough. You've been together all day but the hours seem so short and you need more time. When you can feel your hearts beating together as one. So intense you can't breathe. Feels too good to think that the fire will ever stop burning. Nights turned into mornings and the mornings lasted until the afternoon. Laughing, saying we couldn't stay in the bed all day but it felt so good you just didn't want it to end. But even on the best days. Moments where the connect...

I believe in angels. I believe that there are angels walking the earth with us. We see them, we look past them, we ignore them but they are there. Everywhere. I worked with my father for a long time. We would go to accounts together and that gave us a lot of time to talk and bond. One day we were walking up to a building and while still in the parking lot this butterfly stayed close by and followed us all the way up to the door. We both thought it was really awesome but kept going about our business. We were working with the contractors for about an hour, if not longer. When we were leaving the butterfly was still by the door. My dad chuckled. "It waited for us." I just smiled as I stared at it amazed that it was so close and still there. After a minute or so of standing there looking at this beautiful creature and talking about it we started back to the truck. The looks on our faces were identical as we realized the butterfly was tagging along. I am sure you could j...

em·path ˈempaTH/ noun (chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual I have always been the overly sensitive kind of human. I will cry at commercials. I can't stand to see anyone being hurt or tortured. I refuse watching anything where an animal is being harmed. You know those videos on facebook where the animal is being rescued from some kind of human cruelty, even though you know at the end the dog is going to being doing amazing with a better life and a family, I still can not watch it. My heart can not take the emotions that flow through my body. I don't understand why there are people out there that could hurt another living thing. I can not wrap my mind around it. I say things without thinking sometimes. My friend was standing in my office and she was crying about different things going on in her life. I allowed her to get everything out as I cried with he...

Writing can be such an amazing escape. Not only from reality but also into a brand new discovery of another life. People can write for so many different reasons. Some like to take you into a different land of imagination and make believe. Others use it to get lost in romance and emotions. There are all kinds of ways to grab the attention of the reader. The words. It is all in the words, the meaning behind them and the passion that makes them come alive. I write for something totally different. I need to heal. I have an emotional explosion of my life and writing is my way of letting it all out. There is a sense of safety that consumes me when I allow my thoughts, my fears and my pain unfold. When I share my demons and my history I take that chance of shame and ridicule to find me. But no matter what I may receive from another there is nothing worth the weight that is lifted from my heart and soul when I release it into the universe. Today I was referred to as an angel. Not your ...

Hi! I hope you are doing good up there. I know you can see what I am going through down here. There is a part of me that can not wait to be with you. But for now, I can just tell you how I feel. You taught me so many things in the 30 years you were with me. Things that most good fathers teach their children and sometimes things that parents would never show them. But I appreciated all the stuff I learned from you, good and bad. The biggest thing you taught me was how to love. I mean not just the typical kind of love, but really love. Unconditionally. Everyone. No excuses, no barriers, no boundaries. Everyone you come in contact with is deserving of the love that you have inside you. There is no reason to not be nice to everyone you meet, even if you just met them. You taught me how to laugh. At everything. Even the inappropriate things. You can find anything to be funny. That belly laugh that you would let out was so contagious. Even if the stuff wasn't funny it wa...

Everyone has that moment where they wonder "what if" at least a few times in their life. It would be hard to convince me that anyone has never had that thought. Most people believe that everything happens for a reason but even though we try so hard to figure out what that reason is we may never know. There are a lot of "what ifs" in my past. Not that I regret where I am now but mostly because I am curious to know if things would be any different than what they are now. Do you remember those books where at the end of the chapter you could pick which choice the character made. Like... Skip to chapter 3 if you think Tony should go over the bridge and move on to chapter 2 if he you want him to take the boat across the lake. What would life be like if you could choose your destiny. I mean we kind of can but what if you didn't like the way that particular chapter ended you could go back to the last chapter and choose the other option. Do you think that the majori...

I was just a little girl when I realized that I was different. I believed there was something wrong with me. I knew for some reason that the feelings I was feeling were wrong, or what I thought was wrong, because I would sneak and hide the little things I was doing so I would not get into trouble. I don't believe that you can be pushed or persuaded into being attracted to one person verses another. It is definitely a feeling. It is something beyond your control. You can not help where your eyes wonder. So still today it baffles me why so many people can't accept another for being in love with someone of the same sex. Why should anyone else have any say in who I kiss good-night or who I want to spend the rest of my life with? That does not seem fair. But for whatever reason, it is happening. I would steal my fathers playboy and hustler magazines at a very young age. I was so inquisitive on the female body. There was this strange addiction I could not control with looking at ...