Unexplained Feelings
em·path
ˈempaTH/
noun
- (chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual
I have always been the overly sensitive kind of human. I will cry at commercials. I can't stand to see anyone being hurt or tortured. I refuse watching anything where an animal is being harmed. You know those videos on facebook where the animal is being rescued from some kind of human cruelty, even though you know at the end the dog is going to being doing amazing with a better life and a family, I still can not watch it. My heart can not take the emotions that flow through my body. I don't understand why there are people out there that could hurt another living thing. I can not wrap my mind around it.
I say things without thinking sometimes.
My friend was standing in my office and she was crying about different things going on in her life. I allowed her to get everything out as I cried with her.
Then I said it, without warning, without intentions.
"I am sorry you were abused as a little girl."
The look on her face.
The feeling in my chest.
I knew that she had been abused just by the connection and energy that she passed to me.
"How did you know that? I have never told anyone that."
I just knew.
There was no explanation.
There are many instances where I can tell you I have experienced the kind of emotions and intuition that many people either ignore or just do not have. I have already written about one where I knew in my heart that something was not right and I tried to follow those feelings but no one believed me. "They were just dreams." But in fact, they were not just dreams, they were my mind telling me something that no one knew yet, or better yet no one wanted to believe.
For almost an entire month I was having horrible dreams that came out of nowhere. I would wake up every single morning after having one and be in complete panic mode. I would call my father to make sure that he was okay. Every time he would answer the phone he reassured me that he was fine. But my heart and my soul knew differently. I just didn't understand what I was telling myself until after the diagnosis. In every dream he was either dying or already dead. I hated it. I couldn't understand why my mind kept making me see such a horrible thing. I believe now that my soul was warning me. My spirit was telling me that something was wrong and I just did not know how to respond or listen to it. I begged my father to go to the doctor. We all know men are stubborn. They are indestructible. They can not be broken. Three years later my nightmares were a reality. Now I had to face it daily. There was still a part of me that could still feel him even though he was no longer physically here in front of me. I would talk to him as if he was in the room, like he was really there listening to me. But he really was. His spirit never left me. One night I was having a bad night, after he was gone, I was crying so hard and so loud that I could not breathe. I started screaming at him, angry, confused, so incredibly upset.
"Why did you leave?"
"Daddy I miss you!"
The words kept coming out. I could not stop them.
The room was dark. So quiet.
There were black out curtains on the windows, You couldn't see anything.
My screaming and crying became so intense that I was almost in panic mode.
Then it happened.
There was a bright flashing light that shot through the window, the loud noise on my window screen that sounded as if an animal was clawing to get in.
I sat straight up. I stopped crying. Eyes wide open as I am wiping away the tears in complete shock.
It was him. My father was telling me to "Calm the fuck down!"
I felt it.
Within seconds I fell back into my pillow. Calmness took over me. I drifted to sleep.
These things do not just happen. You can not make stuff like this up. But also you can not just tell someone and think that they are going to believe you on the level that you experienced it. So you keep it to yourself. Sharing only with selective people.
Another night where someone was with me during an experience where my father was listening to me. My daughter and I were sitting in the living room. There was a yellow room that was open to the room we were sitting in. This room was full of my fathers memories, ashes and spirit. It was painted yellow at my fathers request before he passed away. I knew that would be his room. I was having one of those nights where my emotions were too much to handle, daughter was trying to comfort me. She was so young, yet so wise. All I wanted to do was "talk to him." I needed to be able to pick up the phone like I did almost every single day he was alive. I just wanted to hear him say "I love you." My little girl looked at me so calmly and brought her hand up to her ear as if she was calling someone.
"Do it mommy, call him, he can hear you."
I did as she said.
My hand turned into a phone and slowly went to my ear.
I couldn't stop crying but I managed to get a few words out.
"Hello daddy..."
The crying increased and then it happened.
My dog stood up and faced the yellow room, All of a sudden he started growling and staring up at my fathers ashes. We both started crying even harder as we knew our puppy seen what our eyes were unable to see. My dad was there. He did hear me. I needed that.
Those were moments when my soul could feel the spirit of someone who had passed on. But there are also times where my intuition were stronger and smarter than I could even comprehend.
I came home one night and went to bed like any other normal day.
When we woke up the next morning there was anxiety and confusion in her words that awoke me.
Someone had been in our house the night before when we were out.
We never noticed anything out of the ordinary when we got home. That could of been due to the alcohol that we had in our system.
But so many things, personal things, were missing.
I was devastated. I had no idea what to think. My mind was racing.
Who would do such a thing.
Frantically we searched everywhere in the house to try and gather all the items that we noticed where missing. We called the police.
Before the police got there I picked up the phone and called a good friend of mine.
He answered.
I asked him what he was doing and he said nothing.
What came out of my mouth was something I had no intentions on saying.
"Someone broke into our house last night, the neighbors described the person that was seen and the description sounds like you."
Silence. He made no sound.
"Where you at my house last night?"
He answered.. "No, I was with my sister."
"Okay well I have to get off of here, the police are here and they are doing finger prints."
I hung up the phone with so much confusion.
Why did I call him? Why did I lie and say that our neighbors seen someone and it looked like him?
I had not even talked to the neighbors.
The police were not there yet nor where they doing finger prints.
About an hour went by before my phone rang.
The police were already there and gone.
It was my friends sister.
"You need to come over here and talk to him."
I was not sure what the deal was because at that point I had already given up that it was him.
But it was him.
He admitted to everything.
How did I know that? How did my intuition know to call him and say those things?
I listened to my spirit as it guided me in the right direction.
I realized I had a gift and I needed to pay attention but I never really did.
Until now.
I say things without thinking sometimes.
My friend was standing in my office and she was crying about different things going on in her life. I allowed her to get everything out as I cried with her.
Then I said it, without warning, without intentions.
"I am sorry you were abused as a little girl."
The look on her face.
The feeling in my chest.
I knew that she had been abused just by the connection and energy that she passed to me.
"How did you know that? I have never told anyone that."
I just knew.
There was no explanation.
There are many instances where I can tell you I have experienced the kind of emotions and intuition that many people either ignore or just do not have. I have already written about one where I knew in my heart that something was not right and I tried to follow those feelings but no one believed me. "They were just dreams." But in fact, they were not just dreams, they were my mind telling me something that no one knew yet, or better yet no one wanted to believe.
For almost an entire month I was having horrible dreams that came out of nowhere. I would wake up every single morning after having one and be in complete panic mode. I would call my father to make sure that he was okay. Every time he would answer the phone he reassured me that he was fine. But my heart and my soul knew differently. I just didn't understand what I was telling myself until after the diagnosis. In every dream he was either dying or already dead. I hated it. I couldn't understand why my mind kept making me see such a horrible thing. I believe now that my soul was warning me. My spirit was telling me that something was wrong and I just did not know how to respond or listen to it. I begged my father to go to the doctor. We all know men are stubborn. They are indestructible. They can not be broken. Three years later my nightmares were a reality. Now I had to face it daily. There was still a part of me that could still feel him even though he was no longer physically here in front of me. I would talk to him as if he was in the room, like he was really there listening to me. But he really was. His spirit never left me. One night I was having a bad night, after he was gone, I was crying so hard and so loud that I could not breathe. I started screaming at him, angry, confused, so incredibly upset.
"Why did you leave?"
"Daddy I miss you!"
The words kept coming out. I could not stop them.
The room was dark. So quiet.
There were black out curtains on the windows, You couldn't see anything.
My screaming and crying became so intense that I was almost in panic mode.
Then it happened.
There was a bright flashing light that shot through the window, the loud noise on my window screen that sounded as if an animal was clawing to get in.
I sat straight up. I stopped crying. Eyes wide open as I am wiping away the tears in complete shock.
It was him. My father was telling me to "Calm the fuck down!"
I felt it.
Within seconds I fell back into my pillow. Calmness took over me. I drifted to sleep.
These things do not just happen. You can not make stuff like this up. But also you can not just tell someone and think that they are going to believe you on the level that you experienced it. So you keep it to yourself. Sharing only with selective people.
Another night where someone was with me during an experience where my father was listening to me. My daughter and I were sitting in the living room. There was a yellow room that was open to the room we were sitting in. This room was full of my fathers memories, ashes and spirit. It was painted yellow at my fathers request before he passed away. I knew that would be his room. I was having one of those nights where my emotions were too much to handle, daughter was trying to comfort me. She was so young, yet so wise. All I wanted to do was "talk to him." I needed to be able to pick up the phone like I did almost every single day he was alive. I just wanted to hear him say "I love you." My little girl looked at me so calmly and brought her hand up to her ear as if she was calling someone.
"Do it mommy, call him, he can hear you."
I did as she said.
My hand turned into a phone and slowly went to my ear.
I couldn't stop crying but I managed to get a few words out.
"Hello daddy..."
The crying increased and then it happened.
My dog stood up and faced the yellow room, All of a sudden he started growling and staring up at my fathers ashes. We both started crying even harder as we knew our puppy seen what our eyes were unable to see. My dad was there. He did hear me. I needed that.
Those were moments when my soul could feel the spirit of someone who had passed on. But there are also times where my intuition were stronger and smarter than I could even comprehend.
I came home one night and went to bed like any other normal day.
When we woke up the next morning there was anxiety and confusion in her words that awoke me.
Someone had been in our house the night before when we were out.
We never noticed anything out of the ordinary when we got home. That could of been due to the alcohol that we had in our system.
But so many things, personal things, were missing.
I was devastated. I had no idea what to think. My mind was racing.
Who would do such a thing.
Frantically we searched everywhere in the house to try and gather all the items that we noticed where missing. We called the police.
Before the police got there I picked up the phone and called a good friend of mine.
He answered.
I asked him what he was doing and he said nothing.
What came out of my mouth was something I had no intentions on saying.
"Someone broke into our house last night, the neighbors described the person that was seen and the description sounds like you."
Silence. He made no sound.
"Where you at my house last night?"
He answered.. "No, I was with my sister."
"Okay well I have to get off of here, the police are here and they are doing finger prints."
I hung up the phone with so much confusion.
Why did I call him? Why did I lie and say that our neighbors seen someone and it looked like him?
I had not even talked to the neighbors.
The police were not there yet nor where they doing finger prints.
About an hour went by before my phone rang.
The police were already there and gone.
It was my friends sister.
"You need to come over here and talk to him."
I was not sure what the deal was because at that point I had already given up that it was him.
But it was him.
He admitted to everything.
How did I know that? How did my intuition know to call him and say those things?
I listened to my spirit as it guided me in the right direction.
I realized I had a gift and I needed to pay attention but I never really did.
Until now.
The other night the feelings hit me so hard.
I walked into an old building. I was with a few other people and we were going to see their new business they had opened not too long ago.
As soon as we walked into the building I could feel a shift in my physical being. It became worse as we entered the elevator. I actually hesitated as everyone was getting on. I didn't like the vibe that I was receiving from the energy that was all around me. But I got on the elevator and I faced the corner. I didn't want to look at anything. When we got to the second floor the negative energy became so much stronger. I did not like the way I was feeling but I really wanted to be supportive and explore my friends new business.
We walked into their domain and my senses when into overload. I was obviously "freaked out." I didn't want to touch anything. I was scared.
This was not a visibly haunted environment but the feeling of being haunted was undeniable.
I walked around and looked at everything. They took me into this room that over looked the main street. I had this eerie feeling as soon as I entered the room.
I had a head change.
I was dizzy and felt weird as if I had been on an amusement park ride too long.
I did not feel good.
I felt so sick. My body was heavy. My head was spinning.
I could hear everyone talking but I was in a tunnel.
"This sign on the door, every morning when we come up here, it's on the floor in the same spot."
As they were telling me this story they are showing us that no matter how hard you pull at the sign it does not come off the door.
But every morning the sign is on the floor.
I felt her.
I felt something.
She was not happy.
I did not want to be in there anymore.
I told my girlfriend about the experience on our way home.
"Whatever I was feeling it was not a good thing. I just don't feel good. I just want to lay down."
As soon as we got home I went straight upstairs to change my clothes and get comfortable. I grabbed a blanket and cured up on the couch with my laptop.
Before we got home my friend was telling me that she wanted me to look up "Empath" because she believed that I carry that trait.
I pulled the word up and started reading.
Everything about it was me. EVERYTHING.
From being emotional and super sensitive to having feelings that I could not explain.
Then I read what changed my entire night.
"If an empath comes in contact with the paranormal they will become extremely fatigue and physically ill."
What the Fuck!
It made sense.
I felt something so strong in that room.
It took everything out of me.
I have had those feeling before but I never knew where they were coming from.
Now I understand.
I feel emotions, even when they are not mine.
I just never knew how to recognize them.
I remember crying to my girlfriend telling her that I hated being this way.
I hate being so overly emotional and sensitive.
I do not like crying over everything and more importantly I do not like crying and having no idea why or what is making me cry in the first place.
It is exhausting.
But I feel like now that I get it, I can embrace it and try to figure out where the emotions are coming from so I can fix the cause.
I am learning to listen to my instinct and the energy the universe gives to me.
I know that when I see someone cry, I will probably cry as well.
When I see an animal being harmed, whether fake or for real, I will be sick and instantly turn my head.
When I am watching a movie and the fighting is so intense I will close my eyes.
I go through enough without the intentional stimulation of watching something happen.
My heart can not take it.
My soul becomes tired with all of the emotions.
Because when you hurt I literally feel your pain.
What the Fuck!
It made sense.
I felt something so strong in that room.
It took everything out of me.
I have had those feeling before but I never knew where they were coming from.
Now I understand.
I feel emotions, even when they are not mine.
I just never knew how to recognize them.
I remember crying to my girlfriend telling her that I hated being this way.
I hate being so overly emotional and sensitive.
I do not like crying over everything and more importantly I do not like crying and having no idea why or what is making me cry in the first place.
It is exhausting.
But I feel like now that I get it, I can embrace it and try to figure out where the emotions are coming from so I can fix the cause.
I am learning to listen to my instinct and the energy the universe gives to me.
I know that when I see someone cry, I will probably cry as well.
When I see an animal being harmed, whether fake or for real, I will be sick and instantly turn my head.
When I am watching a movie and the fighting is so intense I will close my eyes.
I go through enough without the intentional stimulation of watching something happen.
My heart can not take it.
My soul becomes tired with all of the emotions.
Because when you hurt I literally feel your pain.
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