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Showing posts from January, 2018

Be your own kind of Beautiful

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What does this word even mean? How do we describe beauty? There are no two people in the world that look exactly the same, unless they are twins, so how can you compare beauty from one person to the next?   beau·ti·ful ˈbyo͞odəfəl/ adjective pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically. "beautiful poetry" synonyms: attractive ,  pretty ,  handsome ,  good-looking ,  alluring ,  prepossessing ;  More of a very high standard; excellent. This is the definition of beautiful as said politically correct from the English dictionary but my question is who made this stigma of what makes a beautiful woman? Is it just her exterior that makes her "pleasing to the eyes" or can it also be her soul that is radiating through her aura that creates a shining glow that surrounds her? As a young girl when she hears the word beautiful the mind always goes to that "it" girl or model type female. But I am

Death, the unspoken word

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That word that seems to always be there.  Its coming.  There is no escaping it.  No matter how well you take care of yourself.  No matter how good you eat or how fit you are.  You're not safe from the word. Some are afraid.  Can't even talk about it.  I was that person once.  But then I experienced death.  All kinds,  very close together.  20+ people in a matter of 3 years.  It changed my life.  It twisted my entire outlook on the subject and how I viewed it.  Growing up I didn't have to experience it much.  I mean,  no one I was really close to where it affected me.  But then when I hit my 30's everyone started leaving.  One by one,  dropping like flies.  It started with my cousin.  He was beautiful.  Best way to describe him was 'surfer boy' charm and appearance.  He had a soft heart,  I was blind,  I thought he loved his life.  He was fighting depression for a long time.  We didn't find out until after he was gone that he didn't have money to

To the girl I could of become

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Sometimes I wonder where I would be in my life right now if I would not of had the little bit of love and support I did have. Most girls that have been through what I endured have taken the wrong road trying to hide their feelings and the pain that scarred their souls. I believe I did just the opposite. I could of been the drug addict. I could of easily been the prostitute selling her body for cash and what could of been mistaken for love and desire. I think even though there was a time in my life where I wanted to die, or thought I wanted to die, I could of very easily taken that route and not been here at all today. But, what would that of proved? Of all the demons and men that hurt me, would that of made them the stronger ones because I succumbed to the pain? They did not deserve to win. They did not have right to have that power over me. I had to rise above and show them that they, all together, did not break me. Then I get to the point where I relive those days, those moments,

Thunder

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It is amazing how the sound of rain hitting the window with the rumble of the earth behind it can make you feel so differently in that single moment. The way it takes over your emotions and can turn something into a whole new level. That is the same feeling I get when she touches me. The rain drops glisten all over my body. The roaring thunder explodes throughout every single nerve ending making my skin so sensitive to the touch. If you could imagine a stream flowing wildly, crashing over rocks, effortlessly through the path of earth it was created for, that is how my blood pulsates within my body. My heart races, my chest rises and my breath is faster than what I can keep up with. She takes my emotions into a romantic novel that you think you can only read about and never really feel. She is my country love song. You know what I am talking about. You hear the twang and the love that makes you sick to your stomach, wanting to gag because you know that relationships really are not like

Love

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Love <3 When I decided to become a nurse it was for one reason only, I wanted to achieve something before my father passed away. I never had any intentions to become a nurse it just felt fitting due to the fact that he was sick and I wanted to learn about ways to take care of him. While I was in school my father was in the hospital and he had a nurse that was not very pleasing. Either she did not like her job or herself but there was no way in hell it was because she did not like my father. It just wasn't possible. She left the room and he grabbed my hand and he said the words that will never leave me...  "Every patient you take care of you remember this day and take care of them the way you want people to take care of me." Those words, I live by them, they are now my reason. He watched me graduate and 6 months later, to the day, he passed away. That day my whole life changed and I never thought I would recover, let alone become what I worked so hard for.  I