Love

Love <3
When I decided to become a nurse it was for one reason only, I wanted to achieve something before my father passed away. I never had any intentions to become a nurse it just felt fitting due to the fact that he was sick and I wanted to learn about ways to take care of him. While I was in school my father was in the hospital and he had a nurse that was not very pleasing. Either she did not like her job or herself but there was no way in hell it was because she did not like my father. It just wasn't possible. She left the room and he grabbed my hand and he said the words that will never leave me... 
"Every patient you take care of you remember this day and take care of them the way you want people to take care of me."
Those words, I live by them, they are now my reason.
He watched me graduate and 6 months later, to the day, he passed away. That day my whole life changed and I never thought I would recover, let alone become what I worked so hard for. 
I was working at a local car wash when my father was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. I did not last long at that job due to the stress of my father dying and trying to finish school. I graduated nursing school in June, quit my job in Sept and my dad passed in Dec. So an entire year passed before I became a nurse at a private office in Lima. 
I remember sitting at home and it just hit me... "What do I want to do with this license?" I opened the phone book and went under Obstetrics/Gyn. I wanted to do something with babies and watching people as they experienced one of the most amazing blessings life can offer. Alliance for Women's Health was at the top of the list. I called. They were taking resume's. I instantly went in and dropped mine off and filled out an application. I called everyday. I knew I was going to work there. I would not give up. I was called on a Tuesday to come and observe. I loved all the girls. It felt like home to me. By Friday I had not heard from them... I was not going to let them forget me. At 7am I got up, got dressed up, went to the local bakery and grabbed donuts and a thank you card and dropped it off to the receptionist at the window telling her how grateful I was for them to allow me to come observe. 
Monday came around. I was standing in my fathers 'room' where I kept every memory of him. I was crying to him, expressing how bad I wanted this job. 
My phone rang. I was then an official employee at what became my home, my family for the next 7 years. (The donuts did it!!) 
As of Dec 29,2017 I walked away from that office. I had a New Year resolution "New Year New Me". I decided I needed to take some time for myself to figure out what makes me happy. Within the first two weeks of leaving there I went through a major surgery that not only changed my physical appearance but also my emotional as well. I have done a lot of thinking, praying and crying. All of the changes have taken a huge toll on my sanity. But I am learning so much about myself and the people that love me. I have had the most amazing and beautiful words said to me recently that I never would of believed 2 years ago. I have time to think about everything in life. 
When I was little I said I wanted to be famous. As I get older I am so aware that you do not have to be on TV or in a spot light for that. The whole world does not have to know who you are. My father did not have his own TV show, comedy act or Novel. But he was so famous. Everyone that knew him, LOVED him. Even if they just met him an hour prior. He is my hero and always will be. I strive everyday to be the softhearted, goofy. loving human being that he was. 
I love being a nurse. I love writing. I love dancing. I love people, almost everyone, even the ones I do not like and most importantly I am learning to truly love myself. 
I do not know where this year is going to take me but I am so ready for the trip. My eyes are wide open and I see so clearly now. I see life in a whole new perspective. I see me in a whole new light. Next year I am going to be 40. I don't know how much time I have left. But I know what I want to be remembered for. If there was a word of the day mine would always be the same. LOVE. It is used so lightly in every day life. But when I say it, It is so much more. Everything I do will be done with LOVE. Every action I take will be taken with LOVE. When I am gone that is the word that I want to be remembered by.... LOVE. 

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